Al Franken Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Firsts Quotes

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Firsts Quotes

Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran. But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, 'Hi' to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Dog Quotes , Eye Quotes

I'm crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.

5 years ago

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Liberals like me love America. We just love America in a different way.

5 years ago

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Well, I think that there's a value to comedy in and of itself.

5 years ago

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Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Football Quotes , President Quotes

It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , World Quotes

I just can't sit still and meditate; that doesn't kind of work for me. I don't even know exactly what it means.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Mean Quotes , Kind Quotes

When the Constitution was written, the founders had no way of anticipating the new technologies that would evolve in the coming centuries.

5 years ago

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There's going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration's relationship to Russia.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Independent Quotes , Russia Quotes

I do personal attacks only on people who specialize in personal attacks.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , People Quotes , Comedy Quotes

I don't know what happens to you after you die. I'm not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Heaven Quotes , Banking Quotes

My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O'Reilly is kind of a bully, and he's the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground. And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, 'Teacher, sue him.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Running Quotes , Teacher Quotes

The Medicare Part D prescription drug bill, which might be the most corrupt piece of legislation in history, was a huge giveaway of taxpayer funds to the big pharmaceutical companies.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Drug Quotes , Pieces Quotes

I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. 'It's a job, Al,' Guy told me. 'We work at it every day.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Couple Quotes

We need an investigation, because we don't know what Donald Trump owes Russia. We don't know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Russia Quotes , Needs Quotes

Service dogs raise their masters' sense of well-being.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Dog Quotes , Masters Quotes

The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans' privacy. But when Americans lack the most basic information about our domestic surveillance programs, they have no way of knowing whether we're getting that balance right. This lack of transparency is a big problem.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Knowing Quotes , America Quotes

Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Struggle Quotes

I think the Internet has developed at this incredibly rapid pace because of net neutrality, because of the free nature of it, because a YouTube can start the way YouTube started.

5 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Neutrality Quotes