Mark Twain Quotes, College Quotes, Brain Quotes

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , College Quotes , Brain Quotes

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Rainy Day Quotes

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Meaningful Quotes

It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so.""

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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

A pilot must have a memory developed to absolute perfection. But there are two higher qualities which he also must have. He must have good and quick judgment and decision, and a cool, calm courage that no peril can shake.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Two Quotes

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Sleep Quotes

Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John Hay 41 he said life was a tragedy after 40, and I disputed it. Three years ago he asked me to testify again: I counted my graves, and there was nothing for me to say. I am old; I recognize it but I don't realize it. I wonder if a person ever really ceases to feel young - I mean, for a whole day at a time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Said Life Quotes

My father and I were always on the most distant terms when I was a boy--a sort of armed neutrality, so to speak. At irregular intervals this neutrality was broken, and suffering ensued; but I will be candid enough to say that the breaking and the suffering were always divided up with strict impartiality between us--which is to say, my father did the breaking, and I did the suffering.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Boys Quotes

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Men Quotes

It is easy to make plans in this world; even a cat can do it; and when one is out in those remote oceans it is noticeable that a cat's plans and a man's are worth about the same. There is much the same shrinkage in both, in the matter of values.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ocean Quotes , Cat Quotes

All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.

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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.

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A distinguished man should be as particular about his last words as he is about his last breath. He should write them out on a slip of paper and take the judgment of his friends on them. He should never leave such a thing to the last hour of his life, and trust to an intellectual spurt at the last moment to enable him to say something smart with his latest gasp and launch into eternity with grandeur.

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Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.

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The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that's what an army is--a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any MAN at the head of it is BENEATH pitifulness.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fighting Quotes , Army Quotes

If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , World Quotes

Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cutting Quotes , Play Quotes

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Morning Quotes , Jobs Quotes

I like a thin book because it will Steady a Table, a leather volume because it will Strop a Razor, and a heavy book because it can be Thrown at a Cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Cat Quotes