Mark Twain Quotes, Vote Quotes, Commodity Quotes

Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vote Quotes , Commodity Quotes

Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Interesting Quotes

My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Animal Quotes

The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Laughing Quotes

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to. Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Animal Quotes

Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

But old fools is the biggest fools there is.

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A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Atheist Quotes

The report of my illness grew out of his (James Clemens) illness. The report of my death was an exaggeration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Illness Quotes , Grew Quotes

Schoolboy days are no happier than the days of afterlife, but we look back upon them regretfully because we have forgotten our punishments at school and how we grieved when our marbles were lost and our kites destroyed – because we have forgotten all the sorrows and privations of the canonized ethic and remember only its orchard robberies, its wooden-sword pageants, and its fishing holidays.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , School Quotes , Holiday Quotes

Talent without work is useless, thank God

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thank God Quotes , Useless Quotes

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Years Quotes

To do right is wonderful. To teach others to do right is even more wonderful--and much easier.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wonderful Quotes , Easier Quotes

Adam and Eve entered the world naked and unashamed - naked and pure-minded. And no descendant of theirs has ever entered it otherwise. All have entered it naked, unashamed, and clean in mind. They entered it modest. They had to acquire immodesty in the soiled mind, there was no other way to get it. ... The convention mis-called "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anyone's whim - anyone's diseased caprice.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mind Quotes , Naked Quotes

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Coins Quotes

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Doe Quotes

In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes