Mark Twain Quotes, Children Quotes, Book Quotes

This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Book Quotes

I believe I have had the most trouble with a portrait which I painted in installments - the head on one canvas and the bust on another.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Portraits Quotes

...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humor Quotes

Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest, there being no such thing as free will in the composition of any human being that ever lived.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Men Quotes

What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?

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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.

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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Body Quotes

It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right.

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It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.

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If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.

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He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

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Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.

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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.

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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.

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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.

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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Love Is Quotes

This is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few - few - are they that enter in thereat has had the natural effect of making hell the only really prominent Christian community in any of the worlds; but we don't brag of this and certainly it is not proper to brag and boast that America is a Christian country when we all know that certainly five-sixths of our population could not enter in at the narrow gate.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Country Quotes

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Gun Quotes