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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Cat Quotes
  • And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars - all over Europe, all over the world. "Sometimes in the private interest of royal families," Satan said, "sometimes to crush a weak nation; but never a war started by the aggressor for any clean purpose - there is no such war in the history of the race."
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Crush Quotes , War Quotes
  • We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
  • After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes
  • Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot; and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Baby Quotes , Real Quotes