Mark Twain Quotes, Cat Quotes, People Quotes

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , San Francisco Quotes

The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Church Choir Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Political Quotes

Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Independence Quotes

How lovely is death; and how niggardly it is doled out.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes

We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Patriotic Quotes , Patriotism Quotes

What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Principles Quotes , Election Time Quotes

A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Excellence Quotes

The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Eight Quotes , Wife Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

Persons who think there is no such thing as luck good or bad are entitled to their opinion, although I think they ought to be shot for it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Luck Quotes

Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Indulge In Quotes

So you see, the quality of humor is not a personal or a national monopoly. It's as free as salvation, and, I am afraid, far more widely distributed. But it has its value, I think. The hard and sordid things of life are too hard and too sordid and too cruel for us to know and touch them year after year without some mitigating influence, some kindly veil to draw over them, from time to time, to blur the craggy outlines, and make the thorns less sharp and the cruelties less malignant.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Book Quotes

Indeed, none but the Deity can tell what is good luck and what is bad before the returns are all in.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Luck Quotes , Luck Quotes

Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wind Quotes , Iron Quotes

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Animal Quotes

I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Broken Quotes , Smoking Quotes