Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Half Quotes

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Half Quotes

Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Answers Quotes

If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kentucky Quotes , Years Quotes

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Brain Quotes

There are no standards of taste in wine... Each man's own taste is the standard, and a majority vote cannot decide for him or in any slightest degree affect the supremacy of his own standard.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Wine Quotes

Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Armor Quotes

Tell the truth or trump-but get the trick.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there's no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grieving Quotes , Knowing Quotes

Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Needs Quotes

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Appreciated Quotes

Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Taken Quotes , Cake Quotes

If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate that you will do as she bids you, and then afterwards act quietly in the matter according to the dictates of your better judgment.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Matter Quotes

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Home Quotes

It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. "Give them to others"-that's my motto.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Practice Quotes , Giving Quotes

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Food Quotes

Be good and you will be lonely.

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We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Success Quotes , Men Quotes

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Numbers Quotes , People Quotes

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Time Quotes