Mark Twain Quotes, Issues Quotes, Sides Quotes

All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Issues Quotes , Sides Quotes

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made he (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one...that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dog Quotes

Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Government Quotes , Knowing Quotes

...one of the first achievements of the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar agricultural fair to show off forty dollars' worth of pumpkins in - however, the Territorial legislature was usually spoken of as the "asylum".

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Achievement Quotes , Firsts Quotes

We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Names Quotes

When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did say, "When you are in doubt," but when I am in doubt myself I use more sagacity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Doubt Quotes

I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Forever Quotes

There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Different Quotes

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Facts Quotes , Emotion Quotes

Darwin abolished special creations, contributed the Origin of Species and hitched all life together in one unbroken procession of Siamese Twins, the whole evolved by natural and orderly processes from one microscopic parent germ.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Science Quotes

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Forever Quotes

You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Society Quotes

Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee; but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Men Quotes

Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Long Quotes

Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Self Quotes

Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Men Quotes

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes