Mark Twain Quotes, Work Quotes, Writing Quotes

I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant.

6 years ago

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There is no humor in heaven.

6 years ago

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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.

6 years ago

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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Men Quotes

I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the #‎ telephone .

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Together Quotes , May Quotes

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

6 years ago

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None but the dead are permitted to tell the truth.

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What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

6 years ago

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Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

6 years ago

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One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Appreciated Quotes

Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Together Quotes , Legends Quotes

Civilizations proceed from the heart rather than from the head.

6 years ago

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Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Way Quotes

In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Night Quotes , Race Quotes

The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Liars Quotes

Look at you in war...There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes

Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures; figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Eye Quotes , Giving Quotes

I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Differences Quotes

In this age of inventive wonders all men have come to believe that in some genius' brain sleeps the solution of the grand problem of aerial navigation-and along with that belief is the hope that that genius will reveal his miracle before they die, and likewise a dread that he will poke off somewhere and die himself before he finds out that he has such a wonder lying dormant in his brain. We all know the air can be navigated-therefore, hurry up your sails and bladders-satisfy us-let us have peace.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Believe Quotes

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes