Mark Twain Quotes, Liars Quotes, Three Quotes

There are three kinds of liars: liars, damned liars, and statisticians

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Three Quotes

There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , People Quotes

An adventure is something that while it's happening you wish it wasn't.

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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.

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I'm in favor of progress; it's change I don't like.

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The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Skins Quotes

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Wine Quotes

Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Idiot Quotes

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughing Quotes , Together Quotes

Intellectual food is like any other; it is pleasanter and more beneficial to take it with a spoon than a shovel.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Healing Quotes , Intellectual Quotes

Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Education Quotes

A "classic" is a book that everybody praises but nobody has read

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Classic Quotes

Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Book Quotes

What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Forgiveness Quotes , Death Quotes

I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cities Quotes , San Francisco Quotes

The problem with education is school.

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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Truth Quotes