Mark Twain Quotes, Law Quotes, People Quotes

You see, he knew his own laws just as other people so often know the laws: by words, not by effects. They take a meaning, and get to be very vivid, when you come to apply them to yourself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , People Quotes

Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.

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Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.

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Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him; a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Museums Quotes

The person who has no opinion will seldom be wrong.

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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Literature Quotes

There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.

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Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dollars Quotes , Use Quotes

Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.

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Against a diseased imagination demonstration goes for nothing.

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Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.

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All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.

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But we are all insane, anyway. Note the mountain-climbers.

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The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Lying Quotes

Every improvement that is put upon the real estate is the result of an idea in somebody's head. The skyscraper is another idea; the railroad is another; the telephone and all those things are merely symbols which represent ideas. An andiron, a wash-tub, is the result of an idea that did not exist before.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Science Quotes

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Tragedy Quotes

I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lonely Quotes , New York Quotes

Nevertheless we have this curious spectacle: daily the trained parrot in the pulpit gravely delivers himself of these ironies, which he has acquired at second-hand and adopted without examination, to a trained congregation which accepts them without examination, and neither the speaker nor the hearer laughs at himself. It does seem as if we ought to be humble when we are at a bench-show, and not put on airs of intellectual superiority there.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humble Quotes , Air Quotes

You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rafting Quotes , Easy Quotes