Mark Twain Quotes, Money Quotes, Bitterness Quotes

Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Bitterness Quotes

It's so damned humiliating.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , History Quotes

Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Political Quotes , Conservative Quotes

If one is honest there is no need to remember.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Integrity Quotes , Needs Quotes

The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Lightning Quotes

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Differences Quotes , Miracle Quotes

Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , School Quotes , Half Quotes

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Lying Quotes

The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Laughing Quotes

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

To do good is noble. To tell others to do good is even nobler and much less trouble.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Noble Quotes

As I slowly grow wise I briskly grow cautious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Grows Quotes

Herschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Space Quotes

Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religion Quotes , Atheism Quotes

If all men were rich, all men would be poor.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Men Quotes

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Philosophy Quotes

Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dark Quotes , Doors Quotes

Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Work Quotes