Mark Twain Quotes

The best of us would rather be popular than right.

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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.

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Names are not always what they seem.

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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

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Be good and you will be lonely.

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I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.

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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.

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Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.

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Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly ofthe storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.

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One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself

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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

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It's awful undermining to the intellect, German is; you want to take it in small doses, or first you know your brains all run together, and you feel them flapping around in your head same as so much drawn butter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , German Language Quotes

I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened. Worrying is not an action! In fact, it is action that alleviates concern and dissipates worries. Take more actions when you feel that worry is creeping in to steal your time. It need not be a huge action, any action in the direction you want to go will do.

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What a man sees in the human race is merely himself in the deep and honest privacy of his own heart. Byron despised the race because he despised himself. I feel as Byron did, and for the same reason.

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Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.

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One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

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I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn't repent of within twenty-four hours.

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A sin takes on a new and real terror when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out.

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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.

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