Mark Twain Quotes

Chastity - you can carry it too far.

6 years ago

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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

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What a lie it is to call this a free country, where none but the unworthy and undeserving may swear.

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Wine is a clog to the pen, not an inspiration.

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I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Broken Quotes , Smoking Quotes

I do see that there is an argument against suicide: the grief of the worshipers left behind, the awful famine in their hearts, these are too costly terms for the release.

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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

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One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.

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Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.

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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

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One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself

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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

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One must travel, to learn.

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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one. From the code of morals I have been following and revising and revising for 72 years I remember one detail. All my life I have been honest - comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly - I could only lend it.

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There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where your heart is in it, than out of thirty acts of a nobler sort.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Heart Quotes

I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.

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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.

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A policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and title are the most potent thing, the most formidable influence, in the earth. They move the human race to willing and spontaneous respect for the judge, the general, the admiral, the bishop, the ambassador, the frivolous earl, the idiot duke, the sultan, the king, the emperor. No great title is efficient without clothes to support it.

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As I slowly grow wise I briskly grow cautious.

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There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Average Quotes