Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Cute Quotes

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

We do not get ice-cream every where, and so, when we do, we are apt to dissipate to excess.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ice Cream Quotes , Ice Quotes

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Women Quotes , Men Quotes

Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of "smartness"--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artificial.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Space Quotes

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sea Quotes , Clothes Quotes

I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Flower Quotes , Writing Quotes

If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Nice Quotes

Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Men Quotes

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Smell Quotes , Giving Quotes

Better a broken promise than none at all.

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I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Character Quotes

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Education Quotes

I've never let my school interfere with my education.

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God has put something noble and good into every heart His hand created.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Hands Quotes

Switzerland would me a mighty big place if it were ironed flat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Switzerland Quotes , Bigs Quotes