Mark Twain Quotes, Widows Quotes, Body Quotes

There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Widows Quotes , Body Quotes

I hate editors, for they make me abandon a lot of perfectly good English words.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hate Quotes , Perfectly Good Quotes

There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing, and predatory. The invention of hell measured by our Christianity of today, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the deity nor his son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilled.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Son Quotes

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Age Quotes , Aging Quotes

A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Cowboy Quotes

How often we recall with regret that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Editors Quotes

A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , School Quotes , Sunday Quotes

I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Smoking Quotes

Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Popularity Quotes

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Happy Quotes

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to. Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Animal Quotes

Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Renaissance Quotes , Republic Quotes

There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Baby Boy Quotes

When someone dies, it is like when your house burns down; it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grief Quotes , Loss Quotes

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Sleep Quotes

Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes , Papa Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Forgiveness Quotes , Forgive And Forget Quotes

A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Cat Quotes