Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

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Faith is believing things you know aint true

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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures; figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.

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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.

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The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting

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There's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays, but it don't work for me, and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind.

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I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.

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I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

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Bridgeport?" Said I. "Camelot," Said he.

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The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.

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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more "We", A little less "I", A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the strife.

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Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employs a million.

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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

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I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant.

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I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses; never, I believe, by people.

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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.

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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy; that watches over their dignity; that focuses their vision true--humor.

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The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Heart Quotes