Mark Twain Quotes, Dies Quotes

Ah, if he could only die temporarily!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dies Quotes

Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Schooling Quotes

A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , New Year Quotes , Holiday Quotes

the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Outsiders Quotes , Measurement Quotes

Would it not be prudent to get our civilization tools together, and see how much stock is left on hand in the way of Glass Beads and Theology, and Maxim Guns and Hymn Books, and Trade Gin and Torches of Progress and Enlightenment (patent adjustable ones, good to fire villages with, upon occasion), and balance the books, and arrive at the profit and loss, so that we may intelligently decide whether to continue the business or sellout the property and start a new Civilization Scheme on the proceeds.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Loss Quotes

Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Healing Quotes , Use Quotes

If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Law Quotes

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Sleep Quotes

One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it. They also believed the world was flat.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Soul Quotes , Religion Quotes

There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Sometimes Quotes

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Respectful Quotes , Be Respectful Quotes

Figures don't lie, but liars figure.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Lying Quotes

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Writing Quotes

But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Long Quotes

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes , Lips Quotes

Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes