Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Fine Quotes

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fine Quotes

But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Aunt Quotes , Light Quotes

Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , People Quotes

Do right and you will be conspicuous.

6 years ago

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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

6 years ago

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Don't live in the past, don't ponder about the future, stay at the PRESENT moment NOW...always.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Past Quotes , Moments Quotes

This is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few - few - are they that enter in thereat has had the natural effect of making hell the only really prominent Christian community in any of the worlds; but we don't brag of this and certainly it is not proper to brag and boast that America is a Christian country when we all know that certainly five-sixths of our population could not enter in at the narrow gate.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Country Quotes

If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nails Quotes , Hammers Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

6 years ago

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You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do

6 years ago

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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

6 years ago

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Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Watches Quotes

The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Skins Quotes

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose.

6 years ago

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A photograph is a most important document, and there is nothing more damning to go down to posterity than a silly, foolish smile caught and fixed forever.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Photography Quotes , Silly Quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

He was sunshine most always-I mean he made it seem like good weather.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Deceiving Others Quotes , People Quotes

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Happiness Quotes