Sometimes she did not know what she feared, what she desired: whether she feared or desired what had been or what would be, and precisely what she desired, she did not know.
I know that the vitriol and hyperbole that exists online, and the anonymity, can be deadly because it's cloaked in negativity and it's brutal sometimes.
English can be tricky because there are so many false cognates, but sometimes, as long the idea conveyed is not wrong, these false cognates can themselves offer synonyms or lead to a better alternative word or phrase in translation.