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  • Humor Quotes   564
  • I was carrying a beautiful alcoholic conflagration around with me. The thing fed on its own heat and flamed the fiercer. There was no time, in all my waking time, that I didn't want a drink. I began to anticipate the completion of my daily thousand words by taking a drink when only five hundred words were written. It was not long until I prefaced the beginning of the thousand words with a drink.
  • 5 years ago



    Tags : Jack London Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Humor Quotes
  • If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.
  • 5 years ago



    Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
  • It is quite true, as some poets said, that the God who created man must have had a sinister sense of humor, creating him a reasonable being, yet forcing him to take this ridiculous posture, and driving him with blind craving for this ridiculous performance.
  • 5 years ago



    Tags : D. H. Lawrence Quotes , Humor Quotes , Men Quotes
  • We come before God to pray for the missing and the dead, and for those who loved them... Our purpose as a nation is firm, yet our wounds as a people are recent and unhealed and lead us to pray... This world he created is of moral design. Grief and tragedy and hatred are only for a time. Goodness, remembrance, and love have no end, and the Lord of life holds all who die and all who mourn... Neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities, nor powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth can separate us from God's love.
  • 5 years ago



    Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Grief Quotes , Humor Quotes
  • What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
  • 5 years ago



    Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Thinking Quotes