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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.
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- LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.
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- ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
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- CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.
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- Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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- I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
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- REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.
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- art, n. This word has no definition.
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- Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
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- HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
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- Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.
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- COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.
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- PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
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- RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.
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- A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
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- HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
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- To Dogmatism the Spirit of Inquiry is the same as the Spirit of Evil.
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- An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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- To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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- Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Tongue Quotes