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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.
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- FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.
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- TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
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- Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.
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- ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.
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- PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.
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- REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
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- SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.
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- Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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- Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
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- WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.
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- Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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- When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
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- PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.
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- MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
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- Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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- Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.
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- PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.
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- Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
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- He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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