Ambrose Bierce Quotes, War Quotes, Men Quotes

Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , War Quotes , Men Quotes

To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

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Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Wine Quotes

REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Desire Quotes , Denial Quotes

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Confused Quotes , Differences Quotes

WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes

PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Music Quotes , Body Quotes

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".

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CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

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Woman absent is woman dead.

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RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Learning Quotes , Science Quotes

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

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LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Music Quotes , Guarding Quotes