Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Science Quotes, Culture Quotes

A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.

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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

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Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

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PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.

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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

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CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

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Hail, high Excess especially in wine, To thee in worship do I bend the knee Who preach abstemiousness unto me My skull thy pulpit, as my paunch thy shrine. Precept on precept, aye, and line on line, Could ne'er persuade so sweetly to agree With reason as thy touch, exact and free, Upon my forehead and along my spine. At thy command eschewing pleasure's cup, With the hot grape I warm no more my wit; When on thy stool of penitence I sit I'm quite converted, for I can't get up. Ungrateful he who afterward would falter To make new sacrifices at thine altar!

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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.

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DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.

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REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

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TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.

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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

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