Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Parent Quotes, Honest Quotes

I was born to poor because of honest parents.

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Youth is Gilead, in which is balm for every wound.

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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

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Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

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RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Virtue Quotes

PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.

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MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

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GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Angel Quotes , Science Quotes

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.

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Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Neighbor Quotes

REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

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Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.

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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

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Woman absent is woman dead.

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Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

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APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.

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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

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There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Unjust Quotes , Philosopher Quotes