Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Strong Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The unexpected has happened so continually in my life that it has ceased to deserve the name.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I am not an economist. I am an honest man!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A God who cannot smile, could not have created this humorous universe.

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Tags : Sri Aurobindo Quotes , God Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Indeed, so far from being humorous, the male American is the most abnormally serious creature who ever existed.. It is only fair to admit that he can exaggerate, but even his exaggeration has a rational basis. It is not founded on wit or fancy; it does not spring from any poetic imagination.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Spring Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , War Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were so little known. Is it possible that you do not know the elementary fact in comparative anatomy, that the wing of a bird is really the forearm, while the wing of a bat consists of three elongated fingers with membranes between?

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Nature Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He hadn’t a single redeeming vice.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Vices Quotes

Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Heart Quotes

"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur."

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Mean Quotes

One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Athlete Quotes