Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Sheep Quotes

A relative of mine ... spends his time producing improved breeds of sheep and pigs and chickens. So patronising and irritating to teh Almighty, I should think.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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The censorious said she slept in a hammock and understood Yeats's poems, but her family denied both stories.

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Women and elephants never forget an injury.

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No one can be an unbeliever nowadays. The Christian apologists have left one nothing to disbelieve.

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By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

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I think oysters are more beautiful than any religion,' he resumed presently. 'They not only forgive our unkindness to them; they justify it, they incite us to go on being perfectly horrid to them. Once they arrive at the supper-table they seem to enter thoroughly into the spirit of the thing. There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends.

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Her frocks are built in Paris, but she wears them with a strong English accent.

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Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

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I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

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I hate posterity - it's so fond of having the last word.

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There may have been disillusionments in the lives of the medieval saints, but they would scarcely have been better pleased if they could have foreseen that their names would be associated nowadays chiefly with racehorses and the cheaper clarets.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Names Quotes , May Quotes

It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.

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Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

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