Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Life Quotes, People Quotes

All decent people live beyond their incomes; those who aren't respectable live beyond other people's; a few gifted individuals manage to do both.

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But, good gracious, you've got to educate him first. You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

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Oysters are more beautiful than any religion... There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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Mother, may I go and maffick, Tear around and hinder traffic?

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The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

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I think oysters are more beautiful than any religion,' he resumed presently. 'They not only forgive our unkindness to them; they justify it, they incite us to go on being perfectly horrid to them. Once they arrive at the supper-table they seem to enter thoroughly into the spirit of the thing. There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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Women and elephants never forget an injury.

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Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends.

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We all know that Prime Ministers are wedded to the truth, but like other wedded couples they sometimes live apart.

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A relative of mine ... spends his time producing improved breeds of sheep and pigs and chickens. So patronising and irritating to teh Almighty, I should think.

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When people grow gradually rich their requirements and standard of living expand in proportion, while their present-giving instincts often remain in the undeveloped condition of their earlier days. Something showy and not-too-expensive in a shop is their only conception of the ideal gift.

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The fashion just now is a Roman Catholic frame of mind with an Agnostic conscience: you get the mediaeval picturesqueness of the one with the modern conveniences of the other.

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I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

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I hate babies. They're so human.

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On horseback he seemed to require as many hands as a Hindu god, at least four for clutching the reins, and two more for patting the horse soothingly on the neck.

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It's no use growing older if you only learn new ways of misbehaving yourself.

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Hating anything in the way of ill-natured gossip ourselves, we are always grateful to those who do it for us and do it well.

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You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

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