Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

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Children are given us to discourage our better emotions.

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In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse.

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It is one of the consolations of middle aged reformers that the good that they inculcate must live after them if it is to live at all.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Optimism Quotes , Pessimism Quotes

You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Food Quotes , Wine Quotes

He seems the incarnation of everything soft and silky and velvety, without a sharp edge in his composition, a dreamer whose philosophy is sleep and let sleep.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Philosophy Quotes , Sleep Quotes

There was something alike terrifying and piteous in the spectacle of these frail old morsels of humanity consecrating their last flickering energies to the task of making each other wretched. Hatred seemed to be the one faculty which had survived in undiminished vigor where all else was dropping into ordered and symmetrical decay.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Hatred Quotes , Humanity Quotes

By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

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It is an admitted fact that the ordinary tomtit of commerce has a sounder aesthetic taste than the average female relative in the country.

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Never be a pioneer. It's the early Christian that gets the fattest lion.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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There are certain fixed rules that one observes for one's own comfort. For instance, never be flippantly rude to any inoffensive grey-bearded stranger that you may meet in pine forests or hotel smoking-rooms on the Continent. It always turns out to be the King of Sweden.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Kings Quotes , Rude Quotes

People may say what they like about the decay of Christianity the religious system that produced green Chartreuse can never really die.

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Children with Hyacinth's temperament don't know better as they grow older; they merely know more.

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Women and elephants never forget an injury.

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I hate posterity - it's so fond of having the last word.

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Hating anything in the way of ill-natured gossip ourselves, we are always grateful to those who do it for us and do it well.

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A beautifully constructed borshch, such as you are going to experience presently, ought not only to banish conversation but almost to annihilate thought.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Conversation Quotes

Why are women so fond of raking up the past? They're as bad as tailors, who invariably remember what you owe them for a suit long after you've ceased to wear it.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Past Quotes , Long Quotes

The people of Crete unfortunately make more history than they can consume locally.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , People Quotes