Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Addresses Quotes, Given Quotes

Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

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I hate posterity - it's so fond of having the last word.

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The man is a common murderer. A common murderer, possible, but a very uncommon cook.

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The revenge of an elder sister may be long in coming, but, like a South-Eastern express, it arrives in its own good time.

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You evidently feel that brevity is the soul of widowhood.

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By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

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Never be a pioneer. It's the early Christian that gets the fattest lion.

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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

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The fashion just now is a Roman Catholic frame of mind with an Agnostic conscience: you get the mediaeval picturesqueness of the one with the modern conveniences of the other.

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Women and elephants never forget an injury.

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But, good gracious, you've got to educate him first. You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

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I hate babies. They're so human.

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Mother, may I go and maffick, Tear around and hinder traffic?

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Hating anything in the way of ill-natured gossip ourselves, we are always grateful to those who do it for us and do it well.

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Why are women so fond of raking up the past? They're as bad as tailors, who invariably remember what you owe them for a suit long after you've ceased to wear it.

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Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

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People may say what they like about the decay of Christianity the religious system that produced green Chartreuse can never really die.

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All decent people live beyond their incomes; those who aren't respectable live beyond other people's; a few gifted individuals manage to do both.

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Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.

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When people grow gradually rich their requirements and standard of living expand in proportion, while their present-giving instincts often remain in the undeveloped condition of their earlier days. Something showy and not-too-expensive in a shop is their only conception of the ideal gift.

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