Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Education Quotes, School Quotes

But, good gracious, you've got to educate him first. You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

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Find yourself a cup; the teapot is behind you. Now tell me about hundreds of things.

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I hate posterity - it's so fond of having the last word.

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And the vagueness of his alarm added to its terrors; when once you have taken the Impossible into your calculations its possibilities become practically limitless.

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Never be a pioneer. It's the early Christian that gets the fattest lion.

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Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

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You evidently feel that brevity is the soul of widowhood.

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There may have been disillusionments in the lives of the medieval saints, but they would scarcely have been better pleased if they could have foreseen that their names would be associated nowadays chiefly with racehorses and the cheaper clarets.

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He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.

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Once a female, always a female. Nature is not always infallible but she always abides by her mistakes.

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The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

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There are certain fixed rules that one observes for one's own comfort. For instance, never be flippantly rude to any inoffensive grey-bearded stranger that you may meet in pine forests or hotel smoking-rooms on the Continent. It always turns out to be the King of Sweden.

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It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.

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By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

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I think oysters are more beautiful than any religion,' he resumed presently. 'They not only forgive our unkindness to them; they justify it, they incite us to go on being perfectly horrid to them. Once they arrive at the supper-table they seem to enter thoroughly into the spirit of the thing. There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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Hating anything in the way of ill-natured gossip ourselves, we are always grateful to those who do it for us and do it well.

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The cat of the slums and alleys, starved, outcast, harried, still keeps amid the prowlings of its adversity the bold, free, panther-tread with which it paced of yore the temple courts of Thebes, still displays the self-reliant watchfulness which man has never taught it to lay aside.

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It is an admitted fact that the ordinary tomtit of commerce has a sounder aesthetic taste than the average female relative in the country.

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Sophie Chattel-Monkheim was a Socialist by conviction and a Chattel-Monkheim by marriage.

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To be among people who are smothered in furs when one hasn't any oneself makes one want to break most of the Commandments.

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