Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Thinking Quotes, People Quotes

Think how many blameless lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretions of other people.

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It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.

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No one can be an unbeliever nowadays. The Christian apologists have left one nothing to disbelieve.

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By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

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To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening.

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Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

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You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

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To be among people who are smothered in furs when one hasn't any oneself makes one want to break most of the Commandments.

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Life is full of its disappointments, and I suppose the art of being happy is to disguise them as illusions.

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All decent people live beyond their incomes; those who aren't respectable live beyond other people's; a few gifted individuals manage to do both.

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Her frocks are built in Paris, but she wears them with a strong English accent.

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I always say beauty is only sin deep.

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Women and elephants never forget an injury.

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Sophie Chattel-Monkheim was a Socialist by conviction and a Chattel-Monkheim by marriage.

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Great Socialist statesmen aren't made, they're still-born.

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Hors d'oeuvres have always a pathetic interest for me; they remind me of one's childhood that one goes through wondering what the next course is going to be like - and during the rest of the menu one wishes one had eaten more of the hors d'oeuvres.

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Hating anything in the way of ill-natured gossip ourselves, we are always grateful to those who do it for us and do it well.

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Oysters are more beautiful than any religion... There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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Why are women so fond of raking up the past? They're as bad as tailors, who invariably remember what you owe them for a suit long after you've ceased to wear it.

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The censorious said she slept in a hammock and understood Yeats's poems, but her family denied both stories.

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