Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Drinking Quotes, Wife Quotes

Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

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And the vagueness of his alarm added to its terrors; when once you have taken the Impossible into your calculations its possibilities become practically limitless.

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Whenever a massacre of Armenians is reported from Asia Minor, every one assumes that it has been carried out "under orders" from somewhere or another; no one seems to think that there are people who might like to kill their neighbours now and then.

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Find yourself a cup; the teapot is behind you. Now tell me about hundreds of things.

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Great Socialist statesmen aren't made, they're still-born.

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The censorious said she slept in a hammock and understood Yeats's poems, but her family denied both stories.

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There was something alike terrifying and piteous in the spectacle of these frail old morsels of humanity consecrating their last flickering energies to the task of making each other wretched. Hatred seemed to be the one faculty which had survived in undiminished vigor where all else was dropping into ordered and symmetrical decay.

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To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening.

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Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

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His socks compelled one's attention without losing one's respect.

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Sophie Chattel-Monkheim was a Socialist by conviction and a Chattel-Monkheim by marriage.

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A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she's killed it.

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Oysters are more beautiful than any religion... There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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If he had unlimited money at his disposal, he might go into the wilds somewhere and shoot big game. I never know what the big game have done to deserve it, but they do help to deflect the destructive energies of some of our social misfits.

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I think oysters are more beautiful than any religion,' he resumed presently. 'They not only forgive our unkindness to them; they justify it, they incite us to go on being perfectly horrid to them. Once they arrive at the supper-table they seem to enter thoroughly into the spirit of the thing. There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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Her frocks are built in Paris, but she wears them with a strong English accent.

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The fashion just now is a Roman Catholic frame of mind with an Agnostic conscience: you get the mediaeval picturesqueness of the one with the modern conveniences of the other.

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To be among people who are smothered in furs when one hasn't any oneself makes one want to break most of the Commandments.

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The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

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I hate posterity - it's so fond of having the last word.

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