Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Sheep Quotes

A relative of mine ... spends his time producing improved breeds of sheep and pigs and chickens. So patronising and irritating to teh Almighty, I should think.

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Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

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I hate posterity - it's so fond of having the last word.

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It's no use growing older if you only learn new ways of misbehaving yourself.

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You evidently feel that brevity is the soul of widowhood.

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The fashion just now is a Roman Catholic frame of mind with an Agnostic conscience: you get the mediaeval picturesqueness of the one with the modern conveniences of the other.

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I hate babies. They're so human.

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It was one thing to go to the end of the world; it was quite another thing to make oneself at home there. Even respectability seemed to lose some of its virtue when one practiced it in a tent.

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He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

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Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

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Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.

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To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening.

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Hating anything in the way of ill-natured gossip ourselves, we are always grateful to those who do it for us and do it well.

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It is an admitted fact that the ordinary tomtit of commerce has a sounder aesthetic taste than the average female relative in the country.

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Sherard Blaw, the dramatist who had discovered himself, and who had given so ungrudgingly of his discovery to the world.

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You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

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Oysters are more beautiful than any religion... There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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There was something alike terrifying and piteous in the spectacle of these frail old morsels of humanity consecrating their last flickering energies to the task of making each other wretched. Hatred seemed to be the one faculty which had survived in undiminished vigor where all else was dropping into ordered and symmetrical decay.

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Sophie Chattel-Monkheim was a Socialist by conviction and a Chattel-Monkheim by marriage.

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Her frocks are built in Paris, but she wears them with a strong English accent.

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