Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Funny Quotes, Children Quotes

Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.

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Children with Hyacinth's temperament don't know better as they grow older; they merely know more.

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Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

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I always say beauty is only sin deep.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Food Quotes , Wine Quotes

There are certain fixed rules that one observes for one's own comfort. For instance, never be flippantly rude to any inoffensive grey-bearded stranger that you may meet in pine forests or hotel smoking-rooms on the Continent. It always turns out to be the King of Sweden.

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The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Wine Quotes , Max Quotes

Hors d'oeuvres have always a pathetic interest for me; they remind me of one's childhood that one goes through wondering what the next course is going to be like - and during the rest of the menu one wishes one had eaten more of the hors d'oeuvres.

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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

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I hate babies. They're so human.

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It's no use growing older if you only learn new ways of misbehaving yourself.

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Mother, may I go and maffick, Tear around and hinder traffic?

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A relative of mine ... spends his time producing improved breeds of sheep and pigs and chickens. So patronising and irritating to teh Almighty, I should think.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Sheep Quotes

He seems the incarnation of everything soft and silky and velvety, without a sharp edge in his composition, a dreamer whose philosophy is sleep and let sleep.

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Once a female, always a female. Nature is not always infallible but she always abides by her mistakes.

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To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening.

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People talk vaguely about the innocence of a little child, but they take mighty good care not to let it out of their sight for twenty minutes.

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Life is full of its disappointments, and I suppose the art of being happy is to disguise them as illusions.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Art Quotes , Disappointment Quotes