Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.

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But, good gracious, you've got to educate him first. You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

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Oysters are more beautiful than any religion... There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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He seems the incarnation of everything soft and silky and velvety, without a sharp edge in his composition, a dreamer whose philosophy is sleep and let sleep.

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Think how many blameless lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretions of other people.

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Great Socialist statesmen aren't made, they're still-born.

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I think oysters are more beautiful than any religion,' he resumed presently. 'They not only forgive our unkindness to them; they justify it, they incite us to go on being perfectly horrid to them. Once they arrive at the supper-table they seem to enter thoroughly into the spirit of the thing. There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

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The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

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He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Christian Quotes , Facts Quotes

There are certain fixed rules that one observes for one's own comfort. For instance, never be flippantly rude to any inoffensive grey-bearded stranger that you may meet in pine forests or hotel smoking-rooms on the Continent. It always turns out to be the King of Sweden.

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The censorious said she slept in a hammock and understood Yeats's poems, but her family denied both stories.

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There is no easy in the world neither hard everything is the same in a way.

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Sherard Blaw, the dramatist who had discovered himself, and who had given so ungrudgingly of his discovery to the world.

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To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening.

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I am not collecting copies of the cheaper editions of Omar Khayyám. I gave the last four that I received to the lift-boy, and I like to think of him reading them, with FitzGerald's notes, to his aged mother. Lift-boys always have aged mothers; shows such nice feeling on their part, I think.

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I hate posterity - it's so fond of having the last word.

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On horseback he seemed to require as many hands as a Hindu god, at least four for clutching the reins, and two more for patting the horse soothingly on the neck.

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If he had unlimited money at his disposal, he might go into the wilds somewhere and shoot big game. I never know what the big game have done to deserve it, but they do help to deflect the destructive energies of some of our social misfits.

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Children are given us to discourage our better emotions.

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