Adam Carolla Quotes, Opportunity Quotes, People Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

6 years ago

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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

6 years ago

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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Moving Quotes , Book Quotes

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

6 years ago

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I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

6 years ago

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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

6 years ago

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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes

Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

6 years ago

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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

6 years ago

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

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I'd never hurt another person.

6 years ago

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Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Bed Quotes , Stuff Quotes

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

6 years ago

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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

6 years ago

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When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Radio Quotes , Express Yourself Quotes