Adam Carolla Quotes, Mean Quotes, Successful Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dream Quotes , People Quotes

As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Moving Quotes , Book Quotes

I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Lazy Quotes

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Definitions Quotes

Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Leaving Quotes

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Media Quotes , Worried Quotes

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dog Quotes , Good Life Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Realist Quotes

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Trying Quotes , World Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes