Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Girl Quotes

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

6 years ago

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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

6 years ago

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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

6 years ago

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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

6 years ago

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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

6 years ago

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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

6 years ago

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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

6 years ago

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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

6 years ago

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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.

6 years ago

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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Years Quotes , Funny Marriage Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

6 years ago

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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.

6 years ago

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Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

6 years ago

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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

6 years ago

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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

6 years ago

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The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

6 years ago

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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

6 years ago

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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

6 years ago

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As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes