Adam Ferrara Quotes, Distance Quotes, Believe Quotes

I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

4 years ago

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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Girlfriend Quotes , Nice Quotes

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Rain Quotes , Home Quotes

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

4 years ago

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Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

4 years ago

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You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girlfriend Quotes

I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

4 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes