Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Nice Quotes

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jesus Quotes

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Civilization Quotes

I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Rain Quotes , Home Quotes

My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Dad Quotes , Car Quotes

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes