Al Franken Quotes, Vision Quotes, Balance Quotes

The Republican agenda is a radical vision in which Medicaid is slashed to the bone - in which we start to balance the budget on the backs of, literally, our most vulnerable citizens.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Vision Quotes , Balance Quotes

I can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Nsa Quotes , People Quotes

The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I've had to learn a little bit about it. It's not rocket science: You get ratings, that's good.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Radio Quotes , Littles Quotes

We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Love Quotes , Mean Quotes

Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus. I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it's a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us. And the problem with the mainstream media is that it has these other biases that are much more important.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Media Quotes

If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I've got a problem, I should take their advice. And if those two other doctors get paid by Big Snack Food, like certain climate deniers get paid by Big Coal, I shouldn't take their advice.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Doctors Quotes , Snacks Quotes

Yeah, we shot ourselves in the foot right out of the gate. The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had. He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Feet Quotes , Years Quotes

It is my fondest wish that in the fullness of time, the American people will look back on the Franken presidency as something of a mixed bag and not as a complete disaster.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , People Quotes , Wish Quotes

I'm a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I'll never stop.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Making Changes Quotes , Perfectionist Quotes

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Should Have Quotes

My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O'Reilly is kind of a bully, and he's the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground. And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, 'Teacher, sue him.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Running Quotes , Teacher Quotes

My spiritual life is... sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don't. When I do have access to it, it's usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do. By best, I mean when I have a real sense of doing the right thing and doing good for people and the connected universe of everybody.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Real Quotes

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Income Quotes , Horizon Quotes

I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Fall Quotes , Cutting Quotes

Google might be doping the horses.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Horse Quotes , Google Quotes

For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Years Quotes , Offensive Quotes

Net neutrality isn't a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Government Quotes , Neutrality Quotes

When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn't exist, and we didn't need to worry about foreign websites illegally distributing the latest TV shows and blockbuster movies online.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Writing Quotes , Tv Shows Quotes

When you live in New York, one of two things happen - you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , New York Quotes , Two Quotes

All concluded that Russia did in fact interfere in the 2016 election in order to, quote, help President-elect Trump's election chances when possible by discrediting Secretary Clinton. And the agencies concluded that the Russians had a clear preference for President Trump.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , President Quotes , Helping Quotes