Mark Twain Quotes

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

6 years ago

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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Long Quotes

...many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Silly Quotes

Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists

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The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tradition Quotes , Century Quotes

Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete; that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Loyalty Quotes , Heart Quotes

Steal a chicken if you get a chance, Huck, because if you don't want it, someone else does and a good deed ain't never forgotten.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doe Quotes , Deeds Quotes

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

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If books are not good company, where shall I find it?

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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!

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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Bullying Quotes

If I had more time, I would have written less.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , More Time Quotes , Written Quotes

Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Impossible Quotes

The spirit of wrath - not the words - is the sin; and the spirit of wrath is cursing. We begin to swear before we can talk.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wrath Quotes , Spirit Quotes

The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, "Where is the best place to go to?" He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

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Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Fighting Quotes

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes