Mark Twain Quotes, Moral Quotes, Cigar Quotes

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moral Quotes , Cigar Quotes

[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religion Quotes , Fables Quotes

The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Rich Quotes

If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Law Quotes

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Successful Quotes

When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a temporary fool of him besides, what excuse are you going to offer for preaching it, teaching it, extending it, perpetuating it? Shall you say, the best good of the country demands allegiance to party? Shall you also say it demands that a man kick his truth and his conscience into the gutter, and become a mouthing lunatic, besides?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Party Quotes

The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Calamity Quotes

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Perfection Quotes

The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Editors Quotes , Eggs Quotes

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Relationship Quotes , Men Quotes

I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Race Quotes

Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doe Quotes , Body Quotes

When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did say, "When you are in doubt," but when I am in doubt myself I use more sagacity.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Doubt Quotes

...we all know that in all matters of mere opinion that [every] man is insane-just as insane as we are...we know exactly where to put our finger upon his insanity: it is where his opinion differs from ours....All Democrats are insane, but not one of them knows it. None but the Republicans. All the Republicans are insane, but only the Democrats can perceive it. The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Perfect Quotes

The Mississippi River towns are comely, clean, well built, and pleasing to the eye, and cheering to the spirit. The Mississippi Valley is as reposeful as a dreamland, nothing worldly about it . . . nothing to hang a fret or a worry upon.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cheer Quotes , Eye Quotes

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Editors Quotes , Trying Quotes

I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fifteen Quotes , Might Quotes

We had a sunset of a very fine sort. The vast plain of the sea was marked off in bands of sharply-contrasted colors: great stretches of dark blue, others of purple, others of polished bronze; the billowy mountains showed all sorts of dainty browns and greens, blues and purples and blacks, and the rounded velvety backs of certain of them made one want to stroke them, as one would the sleek back of a cat.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Stars Quotes , Sunset Quotes

For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Knowledge Quotes