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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
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- Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.
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- I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
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- O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain.
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- There is only one good sex. The female one.
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- A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world; it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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- Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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- Citizenship is what makes a republic - monarchies can get along without it.
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- We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.
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- A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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- In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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- If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.
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- The real yellow peril: Gold.
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- Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.
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- A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
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- The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetics in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve.
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- You can't keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year.
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- A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
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- I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
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- An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth a fact that is recognized by the law of libel .
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