Mark Twain Quotes

Don't wait the time is never just right.

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Baseball is the very symbol, the outward and visible expression of the drive and push and rush and struggle of the raging, tearing, booming nineteenth century.

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What a man sees in the human race is merely himself in the deep and honest privacy of his own heart. Byron despised the race because he despised himself. I feel as Byron did, and for the same reason.

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There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.

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Everything human is pathetic

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Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.

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...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'

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The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.

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When all is said and done, the one sole condition that makes spiritual happiness and preserves it is the absence of doubt.

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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result.

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When it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above the sons of men.

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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

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History doesn't repeat itself; it rhymes.

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The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles

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To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

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And I urge upon you this - which I think is wisdom - if you find you can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road, don't you go.

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Do you reckon Tom Sawyer was satisfied after all them adventures?

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Men think they think upon the great political questions, and they do; but they think with their party, not independently; they read its literature, but not that of the other side

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