Mark Twain Quotes, Christian Quotes, Country Quotes

There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing and predatory as it is - in our country particularly, and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree - it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime- the invention of Hell.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Country Quotes

In truth I care little about any party's politicsthe man behind it is the important thing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Party Quotes , Men Quotes

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Blank Quotes

We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Focus Quotes

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Heaven Quotes

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Witness Quotes

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Addiction Quotes , Smoking Quotes

My first American ancestor, gentlemen, was an Indian-an early Indian. Your ancestors skinned him alive, and I am an orphan. All those Salem witches were ancestors of mine. Your people made it tropical for them. . . . The first slave brought into New England out of Africa was an ancestor of mine-for I am a mixed breed, an infinitely shaded and exquisite Mongrel.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Gentleman Quotes

You aim for the palace and get drowned in the sewer.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Palaces Quotes , Aim Quotes

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Communication Quotes , Talking Quotes

He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Way Quotes , Taught Quotes

I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Years Quotes

An occasional compliment is necessary to keep up one's self-respect.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Quotes , Self Respect Quotes

Anybody can have ideas-the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Plain Language Quotes

You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Way Quotes

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Trust Quotes

It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Bears Quotes