Mark Twain Quotes, Achievement Quotes, Firsts Quotes

...one of the first achievements of the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar agricultural fair to show off forty dollars' worth of pumpkins in - however, the Territorial legislature was usually spoken of as the "asylum".

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Achievement Quotes , Firsts Quotes

Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly - a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

There are no standards of taste in wine... Each man's own taste is the standard, and a majority vote cannot decide for him or in any slightest degree affect the supremacy of his own standard.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Wine Quotes

And I urge upon you this - which I think is wisdom - if you find you can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road, don't you go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Uncomfortable Quotes

A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lame Quotes , Trials Quotes

But old fools is the biggest fools there is.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doe Quotes , Facts Quotes

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Spring Quotes , Weather Quotes

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Frogs Quotes , Ends Quotes

We all know about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Oysters Quotes , Ants Quotes

... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Mother Quotes

There is no such thing as an ordinary life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Ordinary Quotes

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Cute Quotes

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Brotherhood Of Man Quotes

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Happy Quotes

It is the Creator´s Grand Army, and he is the Commander-in-Chief... With these facts before you, now try to guess man´s chiefest pet name for this ferocious Commander-in-Chief? I will save you the trouble but you must not laugh. It is Our Father in Heaven.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Army Quotes

The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Kings Quotes

Never run after you own hat - others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Fun Quotes

The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Editors Quotes , Eggs Quotes