Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Successful Quotes

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

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The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.

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Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century.

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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.

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The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Lightning Quotes

That is the way of the scientist. He will spend thirty years in building up a mountain range of facts with the intent to prove a certain theory; then he is so happy with his achievement that as a rule he overlooks the main chief fact of all-that all his accumulation proves an entirely different thing.

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It's a good thing for a dog to have fleas; keeps his mind off being a dog.

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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

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I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.

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Nearly all black and brown skins are beautiful, but a beautiful white skin is rare.

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Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Recovery Quotes , Animal Quotes

Many of the cemeteries are beautiful, and are kept in perfect order. When one goes from the levee or the business streets [of New Orleans] to it, to a cemetery, he observes to himself that if those people down there would live as neatly while they are alive as they do after they are dead, they would find many advantages in it; and besides, their quarter would be the wonder and admiration of the business world.

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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists

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We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Lying Quotes

Was it my conspicuousness that distressed me? Not at all. It was merely that I was not beautifully conspicuous but uglily conspicuous - it makes all the difference in the world.

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The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.

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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doors Quotes , Paradise Quotes