Mark Twain Quotes, Parenting Quotes, Parent Quotes

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Parenting Quotes , Parent Quotes

The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.

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There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Lakes Quotes

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

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None but the dead are permitted to tell the truth.

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To stand still is to fall behind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Behinds Quotes

It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.

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Wine is a clog to the pen, not an inspiration.

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Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Garden Quotes

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Men Quotes

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.

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All emotion is involuntary when genuine.

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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Long Quotes

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

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The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies. This Bible is built mainly out of fragments of older Bibles that had their day and crumbled to ruin. So it noticeably lacks in originality, necessarily. Its three or four most imposing and impressive events all happened in earlier Bibles; there are only two new things in it: hell, for one, and that singular heaven I have told you about.

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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.

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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

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When we think of friends, and call their faces out of the shadows, and their voices out of the echoes that faint along the corridors of memory, and do it without knowing why save that we love to do it, we content ourselves that that friendship is a Reality, and not a Fancy--that it is builded upon a rock, and not upon the sands that dissolve away with the ebbing tides and carry their monuments with them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Reality Quotes