Mark Twain Quotes, Writing Quotes, Editing Quotes

When you catch an adjective, kill it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Editing Quotes

My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Dog Quotes

The worst thing you can do to a man is to tell him he can have what he wants.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Want Quotes

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorant Quotes , Body Quotes

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Life Lesson Quotes

There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Assessment Quotes

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it, and the frog generally dies as a result.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Analyzing Quotes , Frogs Quotes

Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Men Quotes

There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Song Quotes , Language Quotes

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Police Quotes , Trade Quotes

Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Surprise Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hate Quotes , Book Quotes

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , People Quotes

I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Men Quotes

Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Risk Quotes , Age Quotes

You should never trust a man who has only one way to spell a word.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Way Quotes

The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Past Quotes , Race Quotes

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hilarious Quotes , Inspiration Quotes