Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Too much is just enough.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Too Much Quotes

I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fifteen Quotes , Might Quotes

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Courage Quotes

It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Luck Quotes , Ignorant Quotes

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Writing Quotes

Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tired Quotes , Might Quotes

Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moon Quotes , Men Quotes

Use the right word, not its second cousin.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cousin Quotes , Use Quotes

The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Humans Quotes

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Integrity Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Reputation is a hall-mark: it can remove doubt from pure silver, and it can also make the plated article pass for pure.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Reputation Quotes

If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Men Quotes

Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others-his last breath.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Lasts Quotes

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Fiction Quotes

Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Night Quotes

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Luck Quotes

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hope Quotes , Tree Quotes

The writing begins when you’ve finished. Only then do you know what you’re trying to say.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Trying Quotes

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes