Mark Twain Quotes, Rain Quotes, Bankers Quotes

A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rain Quotes , Bankers Quotes

We are all ignorant; just about different things.

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Congress: America's only true criminal class.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Class Quotes , America Quotes

Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheism Quotes

The person who has no opinion will seldom be wrong.

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It is easier to stay out than get out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Achievement Quotes

English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Humor Quotes

Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , People Quotes

I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land.

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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.

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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Mind Quotes

I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Thinking Quotes

If Christians should vote their duty to God at the polls, they would carry every election, and do it with ease. They would elect every clean candidate in the United States, and defeat every soiled one. Their prodigious power would be quickly realized and recognized, and afterward there would be no unclean candidates upon any ticket, and graft would cease.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Voting Quotes

Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Two Quotes

You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.

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How unfortunate and how narrowing a thing it is for a man to have wealth who makes a god of it instead of a servant

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Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else.

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No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes