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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute.
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- I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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- Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.
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- Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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- If God is what people say there can be no one in the universe so unhappy as He; for He sees unceasingly myriads of His creatures suffering unspeakable miseries--and besides this foresees how they are going to suffer during the remainder of their lives. One might as well say, "As unhappy as God."
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- The New York papers have long known that no large question is ever really settled until I have been consulted.
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- The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it.
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- What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one; These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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- One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
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- Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.
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- I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.
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- The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.
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- Perfect grammar - persistent, continuous, sustained - is the fourth dimension, so to speak; many have sought it, but none has found it.
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- To be busy is man's only happiness.
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- How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
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- I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
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- I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.
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- If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
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- Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar.
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- I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn't repent of within twenty-four hours.
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