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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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- Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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- Men are more compassionate/(nobler)/magnanimous/generous than God; for men forgive their dead, but God does not.
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- We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.
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- There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
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- There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain.
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- My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.
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- There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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- My own luck has been curious all my literary life; I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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- Who are the oppressors? The few: the King, the capitalist, and a handful of other overseers and superintendents. Who are the oppressed? The many: the nations of the earth; the valuable personages; the workers; they that make the bread that the soft-handed and idle eat.
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- There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.
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- The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.
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- Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for certain that just ain't true." Thinking that you know the future.
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- ...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
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- If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
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- You are about as happy as you make up your mind to be.
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- Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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- When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.
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- Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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- Make your vocation your vacation. That is the secret to success.
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