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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Thinking Quotes
  • It is plain that there is one moral law for heaven and another for the earth. The pulpit assures us that wherever we see suffering and sorrow, which we can relieve and do not, we sin, heavily. There was never yet a case of suffering or sorrow which God could not relieve. Does He sin then?
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Heaven Quotes
  • After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes
  • A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never proceed so far as to offer suggestions to his general in the field. If the battle is not being conducted to suit him, it is better for him to resign. By the etiquette of war, it is permitted to none below the rank of newspaper correspondent to dictate to the general in the field.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Attitude Quotes , War Quotes
  • Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tired Quotes , Might Quotes
  • It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Mean Quotes