Mark Twain Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Doe Quotes

The true charm of pedestrians does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Talking Quotes

When you want genuine music -- music that will come right home to you like a bad quarter, suffuse your system like strychnine whisky, go right through you like Brandreth's pills, ramify your whole constitution like the measles, and break out on your hide like the pin-feather pimples on a picked goose, -- when you want all this, just smash your piano, and invoke the glory-beaming banjo!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Piano Quotes

Man is the only animal that deals in that atorcity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Animal Quotes

You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Adventure Quotes

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Media Control Quotes

He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , People Quotes

Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Eight Quotes , Want Quotes

There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Baby Boy Quotes

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world is grievously given to lying.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , People Quotes

If you have nothing to say, say nothing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Communication Quotes , Resolution Quotes

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughing Quotes , Cry Quotes

The best of us would rather be popular than right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years. It seems manifest, then, that the latter tongue ought to be trimmed down and repaired. If it is to remain as it is, it ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , German Language Quotes , Years Quotes

Genius, like gold and precious stones, is chiefly prized because of its rarity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Precious Stones Quotes , Gold Quotes

There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Looks Quotes , Enough Quotes