Mark Twain Quotes

Let us save the tomorrows for work.

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The report of my death was an exaggeration.

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There is nothing that saps one's confidence as the knowing how to do a thing

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In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.

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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

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School gets in the way of my learning.

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Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. Because honor to party is above honor to themselves.

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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

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We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.

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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.

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If there was two birds sitting on a fence, he would bet you which one would fly first.

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When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.

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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.

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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'

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Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.

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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.

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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business.

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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.

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God cures and the doctor sends the bill.

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Never mistake motion for progress.

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