Mark Twain Quotes, Baby Quotes, Fighting Quotes

The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting

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It is not worth while to strain one's self to tell the truth to people who habitually discount everything you tell them, whether it is true or isn't.

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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

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To avoid being drawn into error, keep a firm grip on the truth.

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No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

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It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.

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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.

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Thou shalt not commit adultry is a command which makes no distinction between the following persons. They are all required to obey it: children at birth. Children in the cradle. School children. Youths and maidens. Fresh adults. Older ones. Men and women of 40. Of 50. Of 60. Of 70. Of 80. Of 100. The command does not distribute its burden equally, and cannot. It is not hard upon the three sets of children.

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An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth a fact that is recognized by the law of libel .

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Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

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Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

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There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where your heart is in it, than out of thirty acts of a nobler sort.

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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

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I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.

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If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

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Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.

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Irrevence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your disrespect to his god is.

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The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.

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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.

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