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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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- Is it, perhaps, possible that there are two kinds of Civilization-one for home consumption and one for the heathen market?
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- No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
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- My own luck has been curious all my literary life; I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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- Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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- Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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- I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses; never, I believe, by people.
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- The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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- the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.
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- The radical of one century is the conservative of the next.
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- Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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- It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
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- It was in Warwick Castle that I came across the curious stranger whom I am going to talk about. He attracted me by three things: his candid simplicity, his marvelous familiarity with ancient armor, and the restfulness of his company--for he did all the talking.
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- The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
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- Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
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- Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India.
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- And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
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- Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
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- I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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- It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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