Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

The solution to our water problems is more rain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rain Quotes , Water Quotes

A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Giving Quotes

You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it; and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Joy Quotes , Looks Quotes

It is not best to use our morals weekdays, it gets them out of repair for Sunday.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sunday Quotes , Use Quotes

By "trampling upon the helpless abroad" with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, "by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home."

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Tyrants Quotes

A sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Sound Quotes

The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetics in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Biblical Quotes , Discovery Quotes

Kindness is a language herd by deaf men and felt by blind men.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Relationship Quotes , Kindness Quotes

As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Doubt Quotes

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Important Quotes

A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world; it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fun Quotes , World Quotes

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Writing Quotes

Good wine needs no bush; a jug is the thing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wine Quotes , Jugs Quotes

God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Romance Quotes

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kentucky Quotes , Years Quotes

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes