Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny

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When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Angel Quotes , Southern Quotes

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rocks Quotes , Skins Quotes

Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

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Brooklyn praise is half slander.

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It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pursuit Of Happiness Quotes , Important Quotes

What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. . . . The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. . . . When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Player Quotes

The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

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Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.

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Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.

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I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Soap Bubbles Quotes , World Quotes

It is my heart-warmed and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor, the admired, the despised, the loved, the hated, the civilized, the savage (every man and brother of us all throughout the whole earth), may eventually be gathered together in a heaven of everlasting rest and peace and bliss, except the inventor of the telephone.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brother Quotes , Heart Quotes

To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.

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A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.

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Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.

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Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Popularity Quotes

... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men; depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians; gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Stupid Quotes