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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half... I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same money for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop.... I never write valetudinarian at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn't do it for fifteen.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Humble Quotes
  • We all know about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Oysters Quotes , Ants Quotes
  • My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before; my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brother Quotes , Years Quotes
  • If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Effort Quotes
  • I have spent most of my time worrying about things that have never happened. Worrying is not an action! In fact, it is action that alleviates concern and dissipates worries. Take more actions when you feel that worry is creeping in to steal your time. It need not be a huge action, any action in the direction you want to go will do.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Worry Quotes
  • I hate to hear people say this Judge will vote so and so, because he is a Democrat -- and this one so and so because he is a Republican. It is shameful. The Judges have the Constitution for their guidance; they have no right to any politics save the politics of rigid right and justice when they are sitting in judgment upon the great matters that come before them.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hate Quotes , People Quotes
  • I have seen an entire family lifted out of poverty and into affluence by the simple boon of a broken leg. I have had people come to me on crutches, with tears in their eyes, to bless this beneficient institution. In all my experiences of life, I have seen nothing so seraphic as the look that comes into a freshly mutilated man's face when he feels in his vest pocket with his remaining hand and finds his accident ticket all right.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Eye Quotes , Simple Quotes