Mark Twain Quotes, Book Quotes, Heaven Quotes

When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Heaven Quotes

A photograph is a most important document, and there is nothing more damning to go down to posterity than a silly, foolish smile caught and fixed forever.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Photography Quotes , Silly Quotes

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Men Quotes

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Yield Quotes

When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Science Quotes

Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Past Quotes

I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world is grievously given to lying.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , People Quotes

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Man is the only animal that deals in that atorcity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Animal Quotes

Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete; that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Loyalty Quotes , Heart Quotes

It is poison - rank poison - to knuckle down to care and hardships. They must come to us all, albeit in different shapes, and we may not escape them. It is not possible. But we may swindle them out of half of their puissance with a stiff upper lip.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Care Quotes , Shapes Quotes

It was the most earnest ambition I ever had....Not that I ever really wanted to be a preacher, but because it never occurred to me that a preacher could be damned. It looked like a safe job.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Ambition Quotes

Evolution is the law of policies: Darwin said it, Socrates endorsed it, Cuvier proved it and established it for all time in his paper on The Survival of the Fittest. These are illustrious names, this is a mighty doctrine: nothing can ever remove it from its firm base, nothing dissolve it, but evolution.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Law Quotes

The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Salary Quotes

Adam and Eve entered the world naked and unashamed - naked and pure-minded. And no descendant of theirs has ever entered it otherwise. All have entered it naked, unashamed, and clean in mind. They entered it modest. They had to acquire immodesty in the soiled mind, there was no other way to get it. ... The convention mis-called "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anyone's whim - anyone's diseased caprice.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mind Quotes , Naked Quotes

Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Better Days Quotes , Knows Quotes

Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Beer Quotes

Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Surprise Quotes

All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Ornery Quotes