Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Home Quotes

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hilarious Quotes , Tree Quotes

Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suffering Quotes , Body Quotes

Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the loudest.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Patriotism Quotes

Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Insanity Quotes , Insane Quotes

India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Two Quotes

If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.

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He could charm an audience an hour on a stretch without ever getting rid of an idea.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Ideas Quotes

No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Political Quotes

Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Work Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Baby Quotes , Fighting Quotes

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Light Quotes

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Rain Quotes

They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.

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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Salary Quotes

There is no other life; life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Powerful Quotes

Heaven knows insanity was disreputable enough, long ago; but now that the lawyers have got to cutting every gallows rope and picking every prison lock with it, it is become a sneaking villainy that ought to hang and keep on hanging its sudden possessors until evil-doers should conclude that the safest plan was to never claim to have it until they came by it legitimately. The very calibre of the people the lawyers most frequently try to save by the insanity subterfuge ought to laugh the plea out of the courts, one would think.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cutting Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Trial by jury is the palladium of our liberties. I do not know what a palladium is, but I am sure it is a good thing!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liberty Quotes , Trials Quotes

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Atoms Quotes