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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • The Germans have an inhuman way of cutting up their verbs. Now a verb has a hard time enough of it in this world when it's all together. It's downright inhuman to split it up. But that's just what those Germans do. They take part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other part of it and put it away over yonder like another stake, and between these two limits they just shovel in German. from "Disappearance of Literature
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cutting Quotes , Hard Times Quotes
  • Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
  • To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Garden Quotes
  • Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Order Quotes , Plot Quotes
  • There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes
  • [I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Speak Quotes
  • Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it -- namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Boys Quotes , Men Quotes
  • But death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind; death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness; death was man’s best friend; when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Heart Quotes
  • If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Effort Quotes